Short & Simple Reviews: The Bad Beginning & The Waking Dark

This is a place for books that I didn't fully review.

Maybe I listed my likes and dislikes, had a little short paragraph, or a few sentences to convey my feelings on the book, but whatever the "review" is, all of them are short and simple. (hence the clever name)

Dear Reader,
 I'm sorry to say that the book you are holding in your hands is extremely unpleasant. It tells an unhappy tale about three very unlucky children. Even though they are charming and clever, the Baudelaire siblings lead lives filled with misery and woe. From the very first page of this book when the children are at the beach and receive terrible news, continuing on through the entire story, disaster lurks at their heels. One might say they are magnets for misfortune.
 In this short book alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, and cold porridge for breakfast.
 It is my sad duty to write down these unpleasant tales, but there is nothing stopping you from putting this book down at once and reading something happy, if you prefer that sort of thing.
 With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

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Review

I kind of hate myself.

This series was the thing when I was in elementary school, but I, of course, though it was lame. Now I, as an 18 year-old reads this book and while I didn't love it, I did somewhat like it. But little 4th/5th grade me would have enjoyed this book! She would have went ahead and read all of the books in a row! But no, they were too lame for childhood Jessica.
So, let me rephrase my first sentence:
I kind of hate my 4th/5th grade self.

Now, the reason as to why I didn't fully enjoy this book is mainly due to the fact that I am no longer in the target audience. Childhood Jessica would be, but sort-of-adult Jessica is not. One thing about this book that I had difficulty with was that, occasionally, the narrator would butt in and say the definition of a word. This was very insulting to me! I know what that word means, thank you very much! But, again, this book was geared towards elementary maybe middle school kids, not high school graduates.

This book also wasn't very exciting to me. I felt like I was being told a story, not like I'm actually within the world of the story (which I prefer). Basically, there was a lot more telling than showing. The characters were also very flat and underdeveloped. Both of these things made me a bit bored while reading the book.
I did like this story, in a way, but I do not particularly like the way it is written. But I can see the appeal that this book would have to those who are in the actual age range.

I hereby give this book

3 Wheels

Meaning: I liked it.

They called it the killing day. Twelve people dead, all in the space of a few hours. Five murderers: neighbors, relatives, friends. All of them so normal. All of them seemingly harmless. All of them now dead by their own hand . . . except one. And that one has no answers to offer the shattered town. She doesn't even know why she killed—or whether she'll do it again.
 Something is waking in the sleepy town of Oleander's, Kansas—something dark and hungry that lives in the flat earth and the open sky, in the vengeful hearts of upstanding citizens. As the town begins its descent into blood and madness, five survivors of the killing day are the only ones who can stop Oleander from destroying itself. Jule, the outsider at war with the world; West, the golden boy at war with himself; Daniel, desperate for a different life; Cass, who's not sure she deserves a life at all; and Ellie, who believes in sacrifice, fate, and in evil. Ellie, who always goes too far. They have nothing in common. They have nothing left to lose. And they have no way out. Which means they have no choice but to stand and fight, to face the darkness in their town—and in themselves.

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Review

This is probably the weirdest book I have and probably ever will read this year.

But it's not weird in a good way...

This book is creepy, gory, and incredibly disturbing. So, if you have an issue with any of those things, you do not want to pick up this book!

I oddly liked the creepiness of this book and while this book was extremely disturbing, I did find that fascinating, in a way.

So, oddly, the creepy, gory, and disturbing aspects are not what stopped me from loving this book. 

First of all, it is extraordinarily slow. It takes forever for this book to get interesting.

Secondly, I'm not a big fan of the writing style. This book is written in third person with a constant switch in the characters we follow. This is probably my least favorite perspective in a book, sense it makes me feel completely disconnected from both the characters and the story.

But I do give this book 3 wheels, because I did like the creep factor in this book.

I hereby give this book

3 Wheels

Meaning: I liked it.